A New Creation in Christ Jesus:

I was known for violence. Full of rage and anger. It was a personality I wore with pride. I had no fear of fighting or hitting other people. In fact, it was my natural response to anything I didn’t like or agree with, rage and violence. I became known for this, it was the very thing that defined who I was, and everyone knew it. My reputation far proceeded me. I was hard-hearted and tough. It was my way of masking the scared hurt little girl inside. But at times I could still feel and hear her. So in an attempt to make her go away, I turned to more extreme things, alcohol and drugs. Anything to make her quiet down. I gave her away in an attempt to toughen her up. But then needed more drugs and alcohol to quiet her down from the abuse. After failed attempts at suicide, she overcame me. Sitting broken and shattered she cried out for help, and He answered her. As I sat there on my knees, broken, hurt, shattered to pieces and completely exposed, He reached His hand down from heaven and he spoke to me. He told me “I love you”.  As he began to pick the broken pieces up one by one and glue them back together with his love. “I am sorry for the man who stole your purity when you were only a child, I love you”. “I am sorry for the physical and verbal abuse you endured as a child, I love you.” “I forgive you for the choices you made to cover the pain, I love you”.“I forgive you for the rage and violence towards others, I love you”. “I forgive you for turning to substances and immorality to cover the hurt, I love you”. And there I stood, complete with a new heart. A heart filled with love and compassion. A heart that knew tenderness and forgiveness. A heart that was capable of loving itself and others. So I began to live with this new heart. And from it flowed characteristics that were not natural to who I was, but were becoming natural. From this new heart I started to live a new life with better choices. A whole new creation was formed.

And then came the opposition. The people from my past who would say, “ha! We know the real you! This is just a phony. A fake that you are trying to be. We know who you really are, you cannot fool us! You are that sinful, violent angry little girl. Stop trying to pretend you are something better than you really are!” Again I heard his voice,“Don’t listen to those lies. For you are a new creation, MY creation, and I love you.”

Hi, I am Nikki, the REAL Nikki, a new creation in Christ Jesus